The bile rises once more
as they tenderly hold each other.
clutch
claw
vainly at one another.
Can’t they See?
There isn’t any point,
At All.
Not now.
Not Ever.
Her hand reaches slowly behind his shoulder—
I cringe.
Her cold hand falls lightly to his side—
I gag.
His gray clawing fingers meet hers—
I have to leave.
My tray remains as I leave the room;
Glass tumbling as I slam into the table
Heads turn,
Eyes gouge
At whatever I might be hiding
running
suffering
from—but it’s not for them to know,
it’s not for them to know,
Eyes gouge
but they can’t see my soul
The floor listens to my footsteps, accelerating
Even as the glass,
with each sharp echo
resonates a lighthearted dirge
intent on mocking me
They can all see,
can’t they?
CONTROL myself
They can’t know
They Can’t
They CAN’T
But they still scream at me
curse at me
laugh at me
They Know.
Our eyes meet—
and she knows too.
She doesn’t laugh at his joke
Her smile? I’m nothing. Invisible.
an Untouchable.
The handle reaches for me
strives to connect
At least something out there wants me
If only to end the craving for the
casual
caress
of long practiced maneuvering
and suddenly
the room is free of my presence
The door slams silence behind me.
I shudder.
Slams silence into crisp attention.
I crawl
Silence that brings!
I howl.